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That’s That Bullshit Vol. 1 by @Al_Patron

I’m writing this from my porcelain throne.

AC Slater > Zack Morris. Slater wore denim sweats in 1991 & they’re all the rage among the kids in 2015.

Why do tuna fish sandwiches taste better with no crust on the bread?

You know how I know I’m starting to be washed? I yell out the answers watching Family Feud & get mad when the contestants are wrong.

Why do women have to have the last word? Like if a man admits he’s wrong, they HAVE to say “good” or “you should”. What’s that about?

I hate the DAB but if it makes people mad & Cam Newton wants to Dab? Well just DAB on my nigga. Fuck anyone who doesn’t love it.

If you sincerely compliment people every time you see them & you suddenly die, the only thing they can say about you is that you told them you believe in them or something. Compliment people more, we all need to,

Mary J. Blige probably going to be mad drunk on Thanksgiving & not helping out in the kitchen. She gives me that vibe.

Why isn’t chicken the bird we eat on Thanksgiving? Like since when is turkey the illest bird in Nebraska? We celebrate with chicken all the time, then on the Super Bowl of food we eat turkey? This feel like a discrimination & I’m not with it. Who even eats turkey? “Son, this nigga Al coming thru with the turkey”, nigga no. More chicken on Thanksgiving.
Someone asked me why don’t I use social media every day? Well, I don’t like anyone enough to let them know what I’m thinking about every day. Why go on social media just to complain about what I hate about social media? I could just close the app on my phone.

Why is social media called social media anyhow? I still think of it as social networking. I don’t have to go hand-to-hand to get a product out. I can just type and click on my phone and reach thousands & potentially millions. That’s networking.

I love inquisitive people but hate questions. What the fuck you writing, a school paper? You Oprah? Montell?

Speaking of which, Maury, Jerry & all those other trashy shows have been mocking us for far too long. They’re legit some chicken circuit shit & we just laugh along. Wicked shit.

I can’t wait to shave my facial hair; I’m tired of looking so dirty.

Fuck being humble, life has done way too much of that for me on its own. I’m the fucking man, fuck you.

Those Air Max 95 boots are crazy. Those and the Victor Cruz shoes are the only things I’m checking for in footwear right now.

Kristaps Porzingis is really a star. I was so pissed when we drafted him. It wasn’t cuz I knew what he was or wasn’t but it just felt like a Knicks thing to do & if you know the Knicks, we do a lot of dumb shit.
Derek Fisher shouldn’t be coaching in the NBA. He coaches like he’s trying to get fired before the Memphis game.

Solid by Ty $ is easily the best song I’ve heard all year. My favorite song of 2015 by far. I usually hate new music hype but wow this dude made a great song/album. Good shit.

Light skin brothers really made a comeback in 2015 & won the year. Drake, Steph Curry, Ghost, Lucious Lyon. The beige brigade was on a mission this year.

Ghost is a fucking dork by the way. Tommy the only one who keeps it clean on that show.

I hate Angela Valdez & her ears.

People think I use ‘Vol.’ because of Jay-Z, which is a great presumption but it’s because I was obsessed with those music commercials as a kid. I always wanted Sounds of the 70’s Vol. 22 with Melvin & The Blue Notes. That nigga Melvin was on every CD & cassette.

Fuck whoever started this trend of having every day being ‘National ___Day’. I saw it was International People’s Day, the fuck you mean? We celebrating people? Nigga what?

I always think about the men and women killed by the police. It’s scary to think your life can turn into a memory.

I want to have sex with Adele. Not like all the time, just once to inspire some nasty lyrics from her. That would be so fun.

Everything I write, stupid debates & opinions aside are like reaffirmations for myself. That’s what writing is, thinking out loud and if someone happens to get something from it cuz you had the balls to say it out loud, dope.

What’s the woman equivalent for balls? Like “She got big ovaries”? I don’t get it.

I know what I’m doing when I’m in chaos. Like I’m never really in a frenzy or panicked. I think people expect me to be some type of David Blaine when they’re around me.

Depression is a real thing. It’s not a one time thing. It’s a condition, no different than any other illness and maybe even worse because what the fuck is the cure? You get a cold? You take syrup, drink tea & rest. Depression is a relative illness but we can’t keep telling people to get over it or any other misguided/shortsighted nonsense. It needs to be cured and cared for. Get well with that cuz Lord KNOWS I need it all the time.

I want to punch Hakeem Lyon in his mogul.

I hate SnapChat. I don’t have one but seem to be on everybody else’s. I’m not a celebrity, nor do I ever want to be one. Why is it so imperative to film anything I say or do? Let me enjoy my debauchery in peace & private.

I would dump my future wife & family for Eva Marcille. Why is she so fine? My goodness. Like it’s blinding beauty.

Alright, go fuck yourselves or whatever. And never trust anyone who orders anything other than fries or biscuits as a side from Popeye’s.

Future Covers Mass Appeal


Future covers the 57th issue of Mass Appeal. Read more

Justin Bieber – Purpose (Album Cover & Tracklist)


Justin Bieber unveils the album cover and tracklist for his upcoming Purpose album set to release on November 13th. You can pre-order it on iTunes now. The album comes with contributions from Nas, Ariana Grande, Big Sean, Travis Scott, Skrillex and more.

Check out the deluxe edition cover below and the tracklist. Read more

Amber Rose Covers GQ


Amber Rose is set to cover the upcoming issue of GQ magazine. Amber’s on a mission though, and her new book How To Be A Bad Bitch is the center of it all. Read the full cover story here and be sure to grab a copy of the November issue of GQ at newsstands in LA and NY, an  nationally on October 26th.

Jeezy Announces “Church In These Streets” Concert Series


It’s been a good run for Young Jeezy lately. First, he announced his new album Church In These Streets. Then, he dropped a surprise EP titled Politically Correct. Now he has announced his U.S. tour, which is slated to kick off in the middle of next month on November 12 in New York City. He’ll be hitting six cities throughout the rest of November including Los Angeles, Atlanta, Chicago, New Orleans and Philadelphia right after his album is released on November 13.

You can buy your tickets over at

Drake Covers W Magazine


Drake graces the cover of W Magazine’s new issue. With an emphasis on art, the issue presents Drake as a muse for artists such as KAWS (who did the cover), JIM JOE, Mark Flood and Katherine Berhhardt. You can check out the Drake-inspired works they created here, and read the quick Q&A he did with writer Lynn Hirschberg for the issue here.

Here he is speaking on the “I signed up for greatness” quote he made at the height of the Meek Mill fuckery.

When you wrote, “I signed up for greatness,” what exactly did you mean?
Realizing that I had a larger purpose was one of the most comforting, peaceful feelings. With music, especially, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m a vessel to deliver emotion to people. I want to provide the background music to your life as you live it. I’m there for you in heartbreak and tragedy and joy. The thought of being remembered is what keeps me going. What I was trying to say is, the negatives don’t matter—it’s history that counts. At 19, I was just really, really excited to be in the room. Everything was romantic then. Now, nearly a decade later, it’s a bit different. I have to speak against negativity and conflict. There’s so much bullshit that you’re forced to address, but it’s okay. I’m afraid I sound boosie.

where’s nasty? – some jams: October 2015 featuring Bandulu

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where’s nasty? gives us his latest some jams podcast, this time interviewing Pat Peltier of Bandulu. Check out some of his work below as well.

For my October 2015 episode, I interview Pat Peltier of Bandulu + mixed together some of my favorite jams at the moment. Pat has been able to build Bandulu to one of the most sought after upcoming brands by taking heritage vintage clothing and sewing his art onto it. We talk about his start, the process, working for Bodega + more.

Read more

Rihanna – ANTI (Album Artwork)


Rihanna’s been working on her new album for quite some time, but it looks like she’s finally ready to soon release it to the public.

Currently hosting a private event at a gallery in Los Angeles, RiRi unveiled the artwork to her upcoming album, which is officially titled ANTI, with a series of large canvas pieces that feature poetry by Chloe Mitchell embossed in braille.

Rihanna On The Cover Of FADER Magazine


Rihanna covers the latest edition of the FADER’s 100th issue. Check out the gallery below and check out the issue here. Read more

Apple Unveils New Beats By Dre ‘Active Collection’


Apple has unveiled a new ‘Active Collection’ of headphones that includes blue, yellow, and red colors of the Beats Tour2 In-Ear Headphones, Beats by Dr. Dre Solo2 Wireless Headphones, and Beats Powerbeats2 Wireless In-Ear Headphones. Read more


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